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What to do when you worry while pregnant

2/8/2014

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We all have things we are trying to avoid, things we are hoping won’t happen. It’s a normal part of facing the unknown, of preparing for a big event and transitioning. In fact, it is healthy and normal to feel afraid sometimes. It motivates us to learn new things and really prepare for all the changes and challenges that are coming our way.

When it comes to pregnancy and preparing for birth- it’s the same! Birth is a big event and most people want to prepare as best as they know how. Usually a few worries or fears will pop up along the way.

In fact, pregnant women all over the world worry! They worry about pain, their babies health and how they will cope. Some other common worries include; feeling rushed or fear of taking too long, being judged for making noise, being separated from the baby and having medical interventions. 

In the ‘Birthing From Within’ book (written by Pam England), there is a quote from a childbirth psychologist who says ‘worry is the work of pregnancy’. This may come as a surprise to some because we often believe that the women who appear relaxed and confident are the ones that birth normally. 

Pam England states that in all her years of midwifery practice, it’s the “over-confident first time mother” that worries her the most now. She worries that this mother will not be truly prepared for what awaits her.


What effect does fear have on us?

Most of us would be familiar with what happens in our bodies when we feel fear. Our heartbeat quickens, our breath becomes shallow and our muscles tense. It’s known as the fight-flight-freeze response and is combined with the release of adrenalin.


During pregnancy, repeatedly worrying can mean our muscles tighten and we may begin to hold tension in our hips, pelvic area and muscles surrounding the uterus. This can make it more difficult to open during labour.

During labour; fear will release adrenalin and this inhibits or slows the release of oxytocin (the hormone needed for birth). Labour can slow right down and even stop. Our bodies respond to adrenalin and will stop labour until it is safe to continue. Imagined fears create the same response as real threats. We may not have actual ‘tigers’ in our birth space- but the ‘tigers’ (worries) in our mind makes our body respond the same. If a woman approaches labour with unresolved fears, her body releases adrenalin and she may not easily go into labour or labour may be long and slow. Her muscles will hold more tension, and it will be harder for her uterus to contract effectively, making things more painful. 


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Are you worrying?
  • Are you trying to control everything, researching lots and creating a strict ‘birth plan’?
  • Are you avoiding ‘reading that chapter’ and/or avoiding listening to birth stories?
  • Are you only listening to ‘experts’ and/or not wanting to have expectations or hopes?

If you identified with any of the above behaviors, then it’s likely you have some worries and it would be beneficial to explore them a little.

Holistic preparation involves being ready for surprises and being brave enough to identify fears so that solutions can be found.


What can you do?

Move from fear to being free by examining your worries and finding some solutions. Take time to do the following exercise. 


Write down all your secret worries and pay particular attention to the worries that create tension in your body. Now, explore each worry by using the following questions (from Birthing From Within): 
  • What would you do if this worry/fear actually happened? What do you imagine your partner or birth attendant would do/say?
  • What would it mean about you as a mother if this happened?
  • How have you faced crisis in the past?
  • What can you do to prepare for or even prevent what you are worrying about?
  • If there’s nothing you can do to prevent it, how would you like to handle the situation?

 The good news is I can help too!

I am holding birth workshops where you can be gently guided through a process of ‘taming your tigers’ and overcoming birth worries.


Check out my antenatal classes here
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4 common questions about birth

10/13/2013

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1. Is it like the movies?

Most of us probably know by now that what’s on the TV or in the movies is usually a dramatized version of real life. Action and drama sell! It still affects us though. Especially for the children... many ideas about birth are formed early on and it’s not until adulthood that some of these beliefs are explored. I always like to ask people; where did you first hear about birth? How does this affect you today?

2. How will I cope?

Every woman is different, every baby is different and therefore every experience of birth is different. Everyone has a different way of preparing for birth. Some women have an unwavering belief that it will all be ok and go with the flow. Many women are motivated to learn about birth so that they have some tools to work with when the time comes to make the journey into ‘labour-land’. Asking yourself “What do I need to know to give birth?” can help you find some answers. Is it related to confidence? If so... ask yourself how are you nurturing confidence in yourself now, today? Start to foster the positive qualities within yourself so that when your big day comes, you will feel calmer and more confident in your ability.


3. Who can help me birth?

Just as there are many places to give birth, there are a many options for who can help you through pregnancy, birth and beyond. Obviously, having someone close to you like your partner or mother can be a blessing. Birth runs more smoothly when you feel safe and secure. Knowing your care providers and birth supporters will make a big difference to how relaxed you feel when you are birthing. Many healthy women choose to have a midwife support them during pregnancy, birth and the postnatal time. There are options called ‘case load’ or ‘continuity of care’ where the woman can have the same midwife care for her through her pregnancy and birth. When complications arise or surgery is required, then obstetricians are the specialists. 

There is a growing trend for women to also hire a doula. A doula provides emotional, physical and practical support as well as providing information/education (during pregnancy and birth). Each doula is different, but I like to address any fears/worries, help the woman discover her choices and options for birth, provide pregnancy massage and teach breath awareness (plus more!). I then support the woman for as long as she needs during early/active labour and birth. Having continual support from a trained doula can make labour shorter and easier whilst decreasing the likelihood of interventions.

Whoever you choose to support you, it’s important to discuss what it is that you are wanting and make sure your supporters are ‘on the same page’ as you. If you are not happy with your care, or don’t feel comfortable, try to find someone that you connect with.


4. Are there classes I can take?

Yes! If you would like holistic antenatal classes that help you and your partner feel more confident about birth, then I can help. I hold regular classes

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A bit about Birth & Beyond

5/31/2013

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I’ve been facilitating Nimbin Birth & Beyond for nearly 3 years now! What started out as a dream to help bring women together, connect and create a sense of community has become a reality every Wednesday evening.

We originally had a movie screening of the Big Stretch followed by a brain storm of ideas for future meetings. A LOT has happened over the last 120 or so Fridays/Wednesdays. We’ve talked about natural birth remedies, practiced breath awareness, made birth art, danced, done yoga and had guest speakers come share their knowledge. Then over the last year the “beyond” part of Birth and Beyond came into fruition and we’ve had regular mums n bubs groups. The babies have played whilst the mums have had cups of tea and talked about many things including; nappies and sleep (or lack thereof)!

Birth and Beyond is a unique community building and we are lucky to have this divine meeting space. Building a sense of community is not always easy. But in Nimbin, when such beautiful places exist, it’s a good place to start! Our library has expanded to include pregnancy, birth and parenting books and the birth pools continue to be loaned out. Really, it’s amazing and I’m glad to be a part of it all.

I love seeing the bellies blossom, women come into their power and the strong bonds form between mother and baby and then woman to woman (and baby to baby!). 


Hugs, Kirrah
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How emotional preparation helps you birth

1/5/2013

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How do you prepare for something like giving birth? Some women feel comfort in reading lots of books or searching online, some delve into it by watching movies or films and others hear stories from friends and family.

It's a pretty important day in the life of a woman and her baby (and her partner if she has one). Birth is something that will affect you for the rest of your life (not just you, but your baby and those people around you too).

I've heard of the amount of time, energy and money that women can spend on planning their weddings. Compared to this, birth preparation probably looks easy!

So, what are some options to help you emotionally prepare for birth?

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Find a pregnancy group!

Look in your local newspaper or search online to see what pregnancy groups are meeting in your town. Connect with other pregnant women (ideally with a facilitator that knows about birth) and start to hear how others are preparing for their births.

This may give you some ideas for what you would like for your birth, for example; having a water-birth, using a birth photographer or therapeutic use for your placenta. These prenatal groups can help you make new friends that may continue into parenthood (where more choices and options will arise that require discussion!).

In Nimbin, Birth & Beyond meets on Fridays 11am-12.30pm and in Lismore a new Birth & Beyond group is meeting on Tuesdays 9.30am-11.30am at Nurture.
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Hire a doula!
Having a doula is a fantastic way to help you prepare for birth. Many offer several prenatal sessions to help you discover what it is you want for your birth, what options are available and generally helping you to feel better about birthing your baby.

And, of course, they are advocates for you during the birth process. Whether you are planning to birth at home, birth center or hospital; they can be an incredible ally for you.
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Join an independent antenatal class!
These can be an incredible eye-opening experience that can help you understand your options and prepare for how your birth may look. We can never know the details of how a birth will unfold but having some tools to help you along the way will make you feel a lot better about your experience. Women who take an active role in the decision making process generally feel better about their birth outcomes (even if this is different to what they envisioned).

I hold regular Birthing From Within prenatal classes. In these workshops there is a greater focus on emotional and spiritual preparation. There is also some focus on the physiology of labour (like how your hormones help you labour and exercises that will assist your body to open). The personal exploration gives you a wider perspective and helps you gain confidence in your birthing abilities. It can also give your partner (or birth companion) more confidence to know what to do in the midst of labour.

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Let's face it, who wouldn't want to do all they can to make this journey as smooth as possible? Birth preparation is an essential part of being a responsible pregnant woman. You owe it to yourself and your baby!
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7 tips on how to look forward to giving birth (even if you're afraid)

10/12/2012

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Have you heard horror birth stories or seen too many dramatic TV births? It's not very confidence boosting is it? In this article, you will discover 7 tips for how to look forward to giving birth (even if you're afraid).

1. Use Birth Stories to Your Advantage
People often see pregnancy as a ticket to tell you birth stories they've experienced or heard. Everyone wants to share! Unfortunately, not all stories are positive and many can perpetuate the feelings of uncertainty or fear. One of the best tips that I can share that can help you turn these stories into something you can benefit from, is to ask the people; "What helped you cope in labour"?

This brings the focus onto the useful information and may give you tools to learn how you too can cope if unexpected or unwanted surprises pop up in your birthing journey. It reframes the story from one of negativity to one of hope and encouragement. It also helps the 'story teller' to see the positive light. Often people are telling their stories because they need to work through some aspects of it. So, quickly diverting the story to the positive or helpful information such as useful things that helped the person to cope or how they knew they could get through, can benefit all involved!  

2. Stop watching dramatic TV shows!
Instead watch positive birth films showing real people birthing. Hearing how others have conquered their fears and faced obstacles can help you build confidence in your abilities. It also helps you raise awareness about the birthing process and allows you to see solutions to questions. Some good films to check out are 'Birth as we know it', 'The Big Stretch' and 'The Business of Being Born'. 

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3. Don't overwhelm yourself with too many books!
There are many pregnancy and birth books out there (but not all are useful). A beautiful book filled with inspiring birth stories is 'Spiritual Midwifery'; written by birth expert Ina May Gaskin. This was the first 'birthy' book I ever read and I could not put it down!

An Australian book published just last year entitled 'Birth Journeys' has positive birth stories to encourage and inspire readers to look forward to birth as a rite of passage. I also highly recommend 'Birthing From Within' as an excellent guide to intuitive and emotional birth preparation.
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4. Practice Breath Awareness  
There is something so fantastic about building confidence in your ability to cope that resonates with birth preparation and self confidence. Discovering what practices help you in pregnancy, will allow you to feel better about the challenges of birth. 

The Birthing From Within childbirth preparation classes use ice-cubes to simulate an uncomfortable feeling. This gives you a gauge and sets the foundation for comparing which practices help you to cope. Try it now, hold ice for 60 seconds and see what it feels like. After you have given this a try. The next time, before holding ice, bring your awareness to your breath, focussing on your exhalation. Try focussing only on your out breath, bringing your full attention to this and then pick up the ice again, for another 60 seconds and notice any changes.
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5. Get educated; Use your brain!
Broaden your mind, expand your horizons and learn about birth. We can often fear the unknown. Knowing what your options are for birth can help you feel more in control and confident about navigating decision making.

Joining in independent prenatal classes can give you more tools to use during your pregnancy, birth and beyond. Sarah Buckley uses the acronym BRAN to help you to make an informed decision. This looks at the Benefits, Risks, Alternatives and doing Nothing (waiting longer to make a decision). Birthing From Within goes one step further and adds the letter I (for Intuition) to make the acronym BRAIN. Use your brain to discover your options and learn to navigate your unique birthing journey!
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6. Dig deep and uncover your fears
How many times have you tried NOT to think about something and that is exactly what you end up thinking about? If I was to say; do NOT think about a pineapple; what do you immediately think of? Most of you would have immediately got an image of a pineapple. 

If you are deliberately trying to avoid thinking about birth or trying NOT to think about medical intervention, then you may still be giving these things energy. An excellent way to allow fears to dissolve is to write them down, explore them and then release them. What does it say about you as a person if these fears did materialise? What steps can you take to minimise these fears from happening? What have you previously done when faced with difficult scenarios?
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7. Find Support  
Know that this is not a solo journey. Although there is a lot of self discovery and ultimately, you will be the one birthing your baby, there is still a lot of support that others can give you. Like any other big event, you will have others that you can call on to help, love and support you. Have you considered having a doula provide care during your pregnancy, birth and postnatal time?

So, to wrap up... listen to positive birth stories, ask other women what helped them cope during labour, practice breath awareness to build confidence in your abilities, get educated on your options for birth, examine your fears and find nurturing support to help you on your journey to motherhood.
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Kirrah Holborn is a doula, pregnancy masseuse, Birthing From Within childbirth educator and placenta encapsulation specialist in Northern NSW,  Australia.

She has a passion for using natural remedies and therapies to support women during pregnancy, birth and beyond. For more information see traditionalwisdom.com.au

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3 helpful hints for birth

6/30/2010

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Focus on Your Breath...

Women all over the world use their breath to help them birth. They focus on their breath and tend to breathe deeply as a way of coping with the intensity of contractions/expansions. 

We always have our breath with us. We are constantly breathing. Women in labour instinctively know how to breathe. Pregnancy provides a wonderful time to take time out and practice some simple breath awareness. If you can incorporate it into your daily life, learning to let go will come easier in labour.

Start by taking a deep breath (do it now!). Notice how long your breath out is. Is it long or short? Is it deep or shallow? If your mind wonders... that’s ok... just come back to your next outward breath. Follow it and focus in on your breath.

Are you feeling better already?

Your breath will oxygenate you and your baby (twice the reason to breath deeply!).

By quietening your mind, it helps you be present on the here and now. Time can pass more quickly when you are focussed on the present and when you can still your busy thoughts.

Move your body...

Keeping active in birth also comes instinctively to a lot of women. Movement helps to reduce pain. It gives the mind a focus and disperses pain in the body. By moving around, this also helps the baby to find the best position (to press against the cervix and help it dilate and also to make it’s way into the pelvis and birth canal).

Try bouncing on a birth ball (yoga ball) or circling your hips. Belly dance is another great way to help your body open. Try large circles with your hips, figure eight movements or pelvic circling. 

Walking and keeping upright are also great for helping labour establish and it keeps gravity on your side! Upright positions or hands and knees can increase the pelvis opening by up to 30% (compared to lying your back). Amazing hey?

Vocalise or use sound

Many women find their voice in birth. Even previously quiet women find their inner tiger (and for good reason too)! There is a strong relationship to our mouth and our cervix/yoni. Having a loose jaw and mouth means we are more likely able to open in birth.

Try clenching your mouth and making a high-pitched sound... what just happened to your pelvic floor? Did you feel it tighten?

Now... feel what happens if you relax your jaw/mouth and make a deep sound or sigh. Did you feel your pelvic floor relax too? This is very important to remember in labour! 

A loose mouth and deep sounds will help you open beautifully. Try it with movement and bring focus to your breath and you’re well on your way to a more natural and enjoyable birthing experience!


For more information about the above or to delve deeper into holistic birth preparation (antenatal classes), please make contact with me! I run regular Birthing From Within prenatal workshops. Phone 0429 308 851 or check out the 'prenatal classes' page
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